An Introduction...Abigail Grace, Part 2

I left the audiology office wondering what her life, our lives were going to be like. I tried hard not to let myself succumb to my fears, but I found myself crying as I watched all my dreams for her slip away. I couldn't believe that this was happening to us, to our little girl. The next two weeks were a blur of tears, blame, and confusion as we tried to learn as much information as possible about what Abigail could be facing.

I blamed myself, obsessing over everything I did while I was pregnant--missing prenatal vitamins, drinking too much coffee, not getting enough sleep, those few sips of wine early on. I loved her so much that it was hard for me to look at her knowing that I was the source of the hardship she would be forced to face the rest of her life. I was a mess the morning of the ABR; I knew that today was the day that my worst fears would be confirmed, but that we would also discover just how much Abigail was hearing. The test was long, but Abigail cooperated perfectly. I sat in the rocking chair holding my beautiful baby, wondering if she would ever hear me say, "I love you."

It was at that point that I decided that it didn't matter. If she could not hear me, then I would make her feel the words with my eyes and my touch. It was at that exact point, that I realized that God had entrusted us with a very special angel because he knew that nothing would stop us from helping her realize her dreams. It was at that moment, that I stopped asking, "Why," and started asking, "Where do we go from here?"

Three hours later, we had learned that Abigail had bilateral moderately-severe hearing loss. The loss in her left ear was flat, while typical in her right ear. We learned that her loss was sensorineural and that she would be helped significantly with hearing aids. After many questions, my husband and I took our perfect daughter home and thanked God for our many blessings. We replaced our fear with resolve, our self-pity with pride and we began this journey as a family.